Delight Yourself in Me


Delight yourself in Me
for my Heart is brimming with treasures
just waiting to be realized

Delight yourself in Me
for I spin galaxies
and dance in the colours on soap bubbles
I sing to you with the morning birds
and through love songs on the radio

Delight yourself in Me
for I am in the wind that plays with your hair
and in the snowflakes that tickle your nose
I perfume the air with cherry blossoms
and turn sunny dandelions into prayerful wishes

Delight yourself in Me
for I invented chocolate to give you pleasure
and funny-looking animals to make you laugh
I ignite your imagination through stories
and flood your body with a rush when you race

Delight yourself in Me
because nothing pleases Me more
My darling
than to delight Myself
in you

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Jesus, I Trust in You

I am absolutely fascinated by Jesus’ Heart, and am very drawn to illustrations that focus on this, such as the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Divine Mercy images.  Divine Mercy pictures usually have the words “Jesus, I Trust in You” printed across the bottom, in the language of the culture.  Many people might automatically understand what these words mean, but that isn’t the case with me.  I know that we are to trust in Jesus’ goodness and mercy.  I thought about it for a while, and concluded that it means that we are to trust in His nature, in the power of what He has done, and in the example that He has patterned for us. I do NOT believe that it means, that if we trust in Him, that nothing bad will ever happen to us.  Jesus tells us that things things indeed will be rough for us while we are on Earth.

But, what does “Jesus, I Trust in You” mean for me, personally? I decided to start writing in an attempt to sort it out, and this is what I came up with:

Even when it seems completely illogical for me to forgive,
may I trust in the example You gave us, and choose to cancel debts.
Jesus, I trust in You.

Even when my heart breaks over the cruelty in this world, and I just want to get off this planet,
may I trust that You have a plan for my life, and that my work here is not yet done.
Jesus, I trust in You.

Even when I know that my expressions of love will not be recognized,
may I trust in the richness of Your abundantly generous nature, and give anyway.
Jesus, I trust in You.

Even when the pain depletes my reserves and it all seems totally pointless,
may I trust that, through the power of Your Cross, You have infused all suffering with meaning.
Jesus, I trust in You.

When Heaven seems merely like some sort of a misty dream,
may I trust that it is real, wild with magnificence, and that You have a deep desire to share it with me.
Jesus, I trust in You.

When my longing to see You and be fully united with You is overwhelming,
may I trust that it is only a fraction of the ache You feel in wanting to be with me forever.
Jesus, I trust in You.

When I look back on all the stupid things I’ve done, and feel embarrassed and exasperated,
may I trust in Your forgiveness, and know that You won’t let anything come between us.
Jesus, I trust in You.

When I see how messed-up I am now, and how frustrated I feel over not being the person I think You want me to be,
may I trust that You love me just as I am, and that You are still in the process of shaping me.
Jesus, I trust in You.

When I am freaking-out over the terrible things that I imagine might happen in the future,
may I trust that You fill all time, and that You will be holding my hand through whatever unfolds.
Jesus, I trust in You.

When I just can’t seem to get over the ways that people have hurt me, and the damage they have caused,
may I trust that this is actually helping me to enter more deeply into Your wounded Heart, where healing can be found.
Jesus, I trust in You.

May I trust in Your love for me, because You were tortured and killed so that I could choose to never be separated from You.
May I trust in Your mercy, knowing that You wish to lavish graces upon everyone I pray for, and just need for me to ask.
May I trust in Your compassion, and remember that it hurts You to see me hurting.
May I trust in Your creativity, which I see exploding everywhere.
May I trust in Your playfulness, displayed especially in animals.
May I trust in Your humour, because, Jesus, You are fun!
May I trust in Your love of surprises, that You delight in bringing me unexpected happiness.
May I trust in Your silence, because even when I can’t feel You, I know that You are there.
May I trust in Your tenderness, and allow myself to snuggle close to Your Heart.
May I trust in Your beauty, radiating especially in Your invention of colours, and in the way I am so drawn to You.
May I trust in Your romance, and truly believe that You are totally in-love with me.

And may this resolution reside in the space between each beating of my heart:
Jesus, I trust in You.

Where to Look

He leads us

deep into our own hearts

so that we may find

His

 It is natural to look for God in the external world:  places of worship, pilgrimages, shrines, holy sites, rituals, the enactment of traditions, holy books…  And I believe that God is in these places, waiting to be found, waiting to be known…  These journeys and repetitions are important for our human development.  They collectively shape how we view ourselves, how we regard each other, how we interpret creation and our interactions with it, and how we come to understand God and our relationship with this Great Being.

I also believe that God is a Person who is madly, passionately, head-over-heels in-love with us.  And I believe that He is far less constrained than we imagine Him to be.  And what does He desire most?  Our hearts.  That is what He seeks, that is what He aches for, and it is a place where He chooses to live and breathe.  In searching for the Divine outsides of ourselves, I think we often forget that we can find Him within, too.

I have multiple chemical sensitivities.  No churches that I am aware of are willing to go scent-free, so I am no longer able to be there.  I watch daily Mass on TV or on YouTube.  My husband brings me Jesus in the Eucharist.  Each morning I ask Jesus to help me to see Him, especially in the unexpected places.  I play hide-and-seek with Him.  I have found Him in people, in my rabbit’s fuzzy face, in colours, in chaos (hey — Jesus was born in a barn/stable — He is quite at-home in the messiness of our lives), in sunlight glinting off snow, in the way my husband looks at me… I have also found Him united deeply with me in my own heart.

Whenever I receive Jesus in the Eucharist, I think: “I can’t go to Jesus, so He comes to me”.  I also feel:  “You Who spin galaxies have come to me in such an intimate way…on my tongue…Heart beating…uniting Yourself with me, as I am, right in this moment…”

I think that the reason we often don’t take the time to search for God in our own hearts is because it doesn’t seem obvious.  We are used to looking outward.  God has to be very gentle with us so that we are not overwhelmed by the brilliance and enormity of who He is.  Also, I think that if He made His presence really obvious, we couldn’t help but love Him, and that would infringe on our free will.  Love cannot be real if it is forced.

He is a Man in-Love

leaping across chasms

ablaze in colours

cloaked in gentleness

hiding in plain sight

taking up residence

in the tabernacles of our hearts

Happiness

I don’t believe it is possible to be entirely happy in this lifetime — I think that experience is something that is waiting for us in its fullness in Heaven.  However, I maintain that it is not necessary for us to be as unhappy as we currently are.  It seems to me that there are opportunities for delight scattered all around us.  We just need to have minds open enough to perceive them, hearts large enough to embrace them, and the courage to give ourselves permission to revel in them, even if our former plans need to be redirected for just a little while.

We grow so accustomed
to this world of pain
this valley of tears
that we miss the sparkling
among the dew drops
In the normalization of greyness
silver can go undetected
But sometimes the colours leap forth
while we look elsewhere
distracted by some
mundane task
exaggerating itself
in importance
Gifts strewn along the path
waiting for our attention
waiting for our permission
waiting for our hearts to open
to their pockets of delight
their kaleidoscope
of possibilities

Morning Thoughts

There is a lengthy space of time between when I wake up in the morning and when I get out of bed.  Basically, I wait until my need for food becomes stronger than the pain & heaviness in my body & mind.  While I’m waiting for my final burst of willpower to engage, I do some very gentle yoga.  It helps.  I also mentally go through a list of words that resonate with something deep inside of me.  It is my hope that these words will somehow remain with me throughout the day, that they will shape what I initiate, and that they will impact my responses.

I am very much interested to hear about any words that speak to something deep in your spirit — words that just feel right for you — words that help you to come alive to the best of who you can become.

O.K., here is what I have chosen for myself:

Fluidity

Dancer

Creativity

Sensual

Intuitive

Instinctive

Inclusivity

Fascination

Wonder

Connection

Perception

Perception over Judgment

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