Loving my Sister


The time for fighting for her life is over
The options for course-corrections have dissolved into the past
Love must take on a new form
That of walking beside her until the end
And of saturating the remaining moments with acts of profound tenderness
Along with lavish declarations of affection
A mirror of Heaven must be painted here on Earth
As extravagantly as possible
Until she steps through that Final Door


The Deal-Breaker

if we cannot speak the truth in this family
not even if telling the truth
could potentially save the life of one of us
then I no longer want to be part of this family

I choose to forge a different path

Side-Stepping the Implosion

this family is imploding
and while my skin may be lashed by the rush of debris
I refuse to hurl myself in
and willingly be counted among the casualties

Wrestling With the Emotions of Where I Am

No more ceaselessly wringing my hands
because she won’t try to save her life

No more marinating myself in anguish
because the family dynamics are set in stone

I have loved authentically
(not with a counterfeit love)

I have spoken the truth
with those who were willing to listen

I have made my decisions
and they are good ones

This won’t be the seeping poison for my defeat
but a validating source of my strength

And I am hereby giving myself permission
to hold my head high

Choosing to Stand

Sunlight is a powerful disinfectant
I choose to stand in it

I stood up while others sat down

I have not been crippled
I have not succumbed to persuasions to step away
and even though the price has been some anguish and isolation


The Virus

The virus
convinces her to swallow its lies
re-writes her own coding
and makes her think that its voice is hers

Is she still in there?
And will her true form ever re-emerge
from the escalating mutations?

When You’re Not An Enabler

Dalian Oil Spill Accident


I don’t have to let her go
but it’s O.K. for me to leave
I didn’t make the rules
I refuse to comply with the terms
There is no “agree to disagree”
when a human life is at stake
the life of someone I love
And anyway
the generational accumulation of toxicity
is pushing me past the borders
I don’t have to let her go
but there is no reason for me to stay

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