The Courageous and Perpetual Choice of Freedom

The door of the cage is open
the broad expanse of the world
suddenly visible without bars
but after decades of the “normalcy” of captivity
will she give herself permission to fly free
or will she keep returning again and again
a boomerang
conditioned to fasten shackles to her own soul


Trusting That I Am Beautiful



“Jesus I trust in You”
I am still trying to figure out what that means

My parents cursed me
pronounced terrible things over me
lodged them into my brain

But that is not the voice of Jesus
He calls me beautiful
delights in me
and is setting me free

Free from the soundtrack
free from the fear and anxiety
free to unfold as myself

I like His voice better

I like my voice too

So I am trusting that I am beautiful
trusting that He has placed treasures within me
trusting that I have just as much value
as any other human being

And if I trust Jesus
then who am I not to shine?
who am I not to take risks?
who am I not to insist upon the same courtesies
that I bestow upon others?

“Jesus I trust in You”
It’s not what I expected
and it feels so good to come alive

How It Turned Out

I tried to save my parents
I tried to save my sister
In the end I rescued me

And going back
would be like trying to swallow poison
in the hope that it might be candy


For too long
she tried to salvage the diseased parts
poured out her lifeblood
lost her bloom
while toxins infected
And when she finally, finally became convinced
that pruning was the only option
And almost immediately
vitality surged through her being
a rush of life

Drink in, drink in!
Soak up everything that you need!
Drink in and don’t stop!
Flush out the poisons
Become who you are
Give where you are wanted
Bear the fruit
The antibodies will remain
You are free to unfold

Taking the Next Step

Discarding the safety net
stepping out
vulnerable, expectant, wide-eyed as a child
all around me dangerous and exotic and enchanting
I hold His hand
look up and smile
then together we embark
braving uncharted risks