Resisting the Vortex


Over and over again
they invite me to join them in the swirling vortex
to willingly be immersed in the dance
that would remove pieces and pieces of myself
as I struggle to make sense of something that is always shifting
always distorting
always being renamed what it is not
continuously contrary to what I know to be
in the stillness of my heart

And they cast their labels upon me
labels of their own projections
an inverted seduction
to draw me closer to the poison vortex
to make me think that I could maybe make a difference
if I would only speak their language
engage them according to their ever-mutating rules

But it is insanity
and I won’t play the game
I won’t succumb to the twisted guilt
or the rash impulse to leap
to sacrifice myself
in a vain all-or-nothing hope
that my love and intensity and everything that I am
could dispel the motion
could bring calm and clarity and healing
to a toxic storm that has been raging for generations

It would swallow me whole

There is no answer
I cannot make it stop
and even my resolved disengagement
rips at my heart
for I can still see the vortex shredding lives
as it is continually fed
by its ardent adorers

I will not play the game
I will not play the game
and even though I cannot stop my own pain
I will tell the truth
I will pour out my love to those who will accept it
I will nurture my own creativity
I will embrace wonder and stand in awe
of the endless beauty that breathes
and calls to me
outside of the swirling vortex


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kez5
    Jun 01, 2014 @ 23:17:33

    A vivid and powerful vision captured so well by your words, making sense and vibrant beauty out of what I imagine is a whole lot of pain. Thank you!


    • perceptionoverjudgment
      Jun 02, 2014 @ 16:35:31

      Thank-you, Kerry, for what you wrote. Your words touch me. Yes, there is a lot of pain in the situation that I wrote about. And there is no “answer” — just things that you can commit to doing while bearing witness to what is beyond your power to influence or control.


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